Good old Blackpool!

 Blackpool v rotherham, Sunday 28th Dec 2014, Att 11,623

After the excellent win at Wigan we were all really excited about the game at Blackpool. It had been many years since the two clubs last met, and a visit to the seaside over the festive period had been highly anticipated. We had had quite a lot of snow in Rotherham a few days before and were a little anxious that the game would be called off. fortunately that was not the case and we set off early so we could take in all the delights that Blackpool has to offer. We arrived to a bright and clear day, not even too cold, and parked up near to the ground. A council van was parked across the end of the car park and, on questioning, explained that he was required to keep the travellers out. Good old blackpool.  

A five minute stroll brought us to the bottom of the tower and the Coral Island Amusements. Vicky set about winning seven key rings on the two pence machines. 'They are easier to win here than Morecombe' she said approvingly. Good old Blackpool

We then strolled down the front till we found a fish and chop shop, and proceeded to demolish huge portions. A trip onto the beach offered a photo opportunity in front of the tower.

Then a family game of indoor crazy golf, played in surroundings akin to Hollister, rounded off a great morning, with better to come we hoped. 

Back at the ground we followed the signs to the away entrance. A queue had formed for searching and sniffer dogs so we waited patiently in line with the other reprobates before being allowed to enter the turnstile area. Once inside we headed  for a coffee to wash down our fish and chips and I decided to visit the amenities while they were at their best. I wasn't expecting too much as the ladies was a portacabin, but found them clean and the floor dry. Alas, marks were lost for the lack of hot water. 

The coffe was hot and our decision to pay the extra pound for executive seats was vindicated as they had padding on them, ensuring warmth and comfort. They did all have an obstructed view due to pillars but you can't have everything.

Wooly and Kathy arrived, James having been relegated to the cheap seats, and the teams arrived. Steve had dropped the fans favourites Pringle and Revell, and brought in Bowery and JCH with Frecks coming in for Green. A healthy away following now stripped of all drugs gave a roar and the game began. We were wonderful, superb, sublime. Unfortunately so was the Blackpool keeper. We streamed forward, wave upon wave of attack, only to be thwarted at every turn. But then on 17 mins Tom Lawrence went down over a Blackpool leg and a penalty was awarded. 

Lawrence appeared to argue with JCH before stepping up to take it himself, and the keeper saved it. More pressure ensued but the half ended 0-0. 

We were buoyant despite the miss. Blackpool were there for the taking. Unfortunately their half-time team talk must have been superb as they were a different team in the second half. We still had lots of chances but so did they. They hit the post and had a goal disallowed. We then went down the other end, the ball came to Ledesma in the area and he jinxed one way then the other before slotting home. Cue wild celebrations on and off the pitch which resulted in a booking for shirt removal. It was all worth it though.

We then began to sit deep, Blackpool pressed and we began to worry. Then a great ball saw Ledesma on the charge, only to be flagged offside. As we were in line to the centimetre, it was clearly a wrong decision, and we politely told the German Stormtrooper Haired Referees Assistant this. He had the last laugh though as Blackpool promptly went down the other end, our defence made a mistake, and they scored. Final score 1-1. We had had victory snatched from us.  If Huddersfield felt like a win this felt like a loss. We were gutted. A great day spoiled by Adolf Hitler. Next we're up for the cup.

Men of the match

Ian

Jackie - Frecklington

Vicky 

Ian's award

Need you ask!

Funniest moment - The guy in the wheelchair with cerebral palsy being escorted away by stewards after questioning Heir Flick

 Toilet watch - Not bad, Vicky went in at the end and the floor was a bit wet, not swimming. Let down by water. 5/10

Get out of jail free

IRotherham v Huddersfield, Sat 26th Dec 2014, Att 11,681

Xmas is the time for board games such as trivial pursuit and Monopoly, and The Millers played their very own get out of jail card in the match against Huddersfield on Boxing Day. The great away win at Wigan had meant a very satisfactory Christmas and we were all looking forward to the match, surely it was time for someone to get a good stuffing. Huddersfield were on the same points as us with an inferior goal difference, so the expected big win would take us a little but closer to survival. Xmas Day had been unseasonably warm, but the temperature had started to drop as we set off for the New York Tavern. A couple of magpies flitted around down Sitwell Vale. The tavern was heaving, and with no sign of Wooly or James and a huge crowd around the bar, we decided to head for the ground where a sell out crowd awaited us. Entry via turnstile 9 ought to add a couple of goals we thought. Steve had, unsurprisingly named an unchanged side once more and the crowd were in great voice as the teams entered the arena. As befits the season, Huddersfield had a couple of pantomime villains in their squad. 'Nasty' Nahki Wells, a long time adversary from our lower league days, ex Bradford, was on the bench, while Grant 'the hulk' Holt was their main striker. Holt was a well known former premier league donkey, now down on his luck and playing in the championship. Both Vicky and I had liked him at Norwich, but there was to be no goodwill towards him today.

Frank sang, we kicked, the ref blew, and we settled down to watch the New Real Madrid. Unfortunately the players, while trying to play silky football, had forgotten how. Of maybe Huddersfield just wouldn't let them. Passes that in the last few games had expertly found a man today went astray. We couldn't get a chance in on goal and Huddersfield began to make quick forays forward. Fortunately Holt was just the donkey we had expected and the crowd, and Wooly in particular, amused themselves by continually baiting him. The opposition were also much more cynical than us. Tom Lawrence sprinted through only to be scythed down. Booking for sure but it stopped a chance for us. We then gave the ball away sloppily and did the gentlemanly thing by not bringing down their flying winger, who crossed the ball to find Vaughan alone in the box. He accepted the gift and slotted home. 1-0 to them and we weren't in the game. The guy behind Wooly, one of the tweeters friends but not a regular, began to rant on about how the hoofball football had been better and the tippy tappy stuff was getting us nowhere. Wooly and Ian were surprisingly restrained. Holt flung an elbow at Morgan, 'just an accident' said the ref, 'booooo' , hissss' bayed the crowd. At least we were getting some entertainment. Half time came with us 1-0 down. 

As the sun went down the temperature began to drop and we bundled up.

The second half began with no changes for either team, and settled into a similar pattern to the first. Much to the Crowds delight, Grant Holt went down off the pitch and needed treatment. Even then we couldn't create anything. Pringle was finding it particularly difficult to find his passes, and the crowd began to get on his back. Holt went down again, and hobbled off injured, to a great cheer. That didn't do us any favours however, as another loose pass allowed another break and cross, and another gift as their player found himself all alone. He duly headed home. 2-0 and cue scenes of delerium amongst the visiting fans. The two guys in front decided to leave at this point even though only 60 mins had gone, and the cold their bodies had been protecting us from began to seep in. A light cold rain began  to fall. Luckily Nasty Nahki chose that moment to warm up just below us. Wooly must have a particular dislike of him as the abuse he began to hurl cannot be repeated. Nahki took it all with a benign smile on his face, they were beating us after all. 

As the crowd became more and more restless Steve decided to play his card. He took off Pringle, Ledesma and Revell, how some people can boo these players I will never know, and replaced them with Bowery, JCH, and Frecklington. The moaners behind and old man on the end chose that moment to leave, a move I feel they are regretting still. Huddersfield began to get nervous. We began to probe more. Rees James had all the time in the world to pick out a cross from the left. JCH rose like a salmon and headed home. 88 mins gone and we were back to 2-1. Huddersfield then proceeded to panic and managed to allow Frecks to get the ball unmarked 25yds out. His goalbound shot took a sweet deflection that lifted it over the keeper and into the corner of the net. The celebrating fans all took a relieved breath as the ref blew for full time. We had somehow managed to get a draw out of a game we really should have lost. No doubt we got out of jail, big time. Next up the most anticipated awayday of the season, Blackpool. 

Men of the match

Ian - Arneson

Jackie - Revell

Vicky - there wasn't one

Ian's award 

Should have sent Holt off for the elbow. 

Funniest moment

Any of Grant Holts spectacular misses in front of the home fans. 

Jingle all the way

Wigan Athletic v Rotherham United, Sat 20th Dec 2014, DW Stadium, Att 12641

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the last game before Christmas is one if the most important of the season. Win and the festive season is wonderful with everyone happy and the days merry and bright. Lose and the season takes on a darker tone, miserable faces sat around wearing cheap hats and forcing down Turkey and sprouts. The game at the DW ( formerly JJB Stadium) had even more import due to our respective lowly positions in the championship table. If Wigan won they would be only one point behind, a Millers win would see a massive 7 point gap open. 

Ian decided to go back to pan porridge in some insane attempt to influence matters, leaving the washing up for later. I made up the munch box, only the second of the season as most of our away games had been too close to require one. We loaded up and set off, Ian having to break sharply to avoid running over the single magpie that was strutting across the top of the drive. 

Tara, Ian's posh SatNav, informed us that there was traffic disruption on the route, the Woodhead pass, and no alternative route was possible, leading us to decide on the alternative route  of the M1, M62. Tara did not like that one little bit, trying to persuade us to turn back all the way up the M1. Her way would see us arriving after 3pm so we ignored her all the way until she relented and informed us that our way would see us arrive at 2.25. I despair of her sometimes. 

A scenic trip through the highlights of Wigan brought us in to the DW away fans car park from the back, the beer buses had already arrived.  

We ate our munch box, drank coffee, badgered Vicky into hurrying, and set off for the stadium

We had persuaded a grumbling Ian to wear his Santa dash hat in order to appear more festive.

The DW is a pretty impressive stadium, one with fond memories for us as the sight of a famous win during the promotion season of 2001. 

A trip to the loo was first on the agenda after our long journey. Not bad. There weren't that many but they were clean with no puddles on the floor. There was even soap. The water let them down by being lukewarm though. Wooly and James had saved us some seats behind the goal half way up. It did involve climbing over seats to reach them, not my favourite hobby, and we settled in among the large away following. James' sister Kathy was also there, stopping off on her way home from uni in Liverpool. It was a brilliant view.

Vicky was very happy with it.

A marching band followed by a bugler playing the last post confused us a bit, till someone remembered it was the hundredth anniversary of the famous front line football match in the First World War. A nice touch. Steve had kept faith with the same starting eleven that had been performing so well over the last few games. Wigan started the stronger and we feared a beating, but we came into it and started to dominate. The ref incurred our wrath by booking Green for a challenge in the centre circle a few seconds after letting one of theirs go. We started to pass the ball in the silky smooth manner to which we have become accustomed. Chances came and went and I wondered if we would ever score when two Wigan defenders gave us a helping hand. One passed the ball into the path of Tom Lawrence while the other slipped leaving young Tom to slot the ball home. 

Scenes of delirium swept throughout the players and fans. A very tentative round of jingle bells went around, we didn't want to jinx things.

The rest of the first half was very comfortable for us and we went into the break in the lead. Half time entertainment was 'up and coming girl band The Picadillies' singing Silent Night acapello. Not something we usually get at the New York. 

The second half began as the first had ended, with us in control. We are a pleasure to watch at the moment. Ledesma in particular was running rings round the Wigan defenders. However, on the 66th minute we shot ourselves in the foot by conceding a headed goal from a corner. They were back in it and all was doom and gloom. Minute 67 proved much more joyous though. Ledesma bent in a free kick, Alex Revell rose like a salmon and the ball looped up off his head. Vicky put her head in her hands in despair, feeling sure it was going over. Their keeper thought the same and watched in horror as it dropped lazily down behind him and nestled in the back of the net. He rushed to celebrate with the Rotherham fans behind the goal, the whole team celebrating wih him

Wigan had to attack and left holes at the back so we had several more chances, but in the end were hanging on with them hitting the bar during the six minutes of added time. Another little gift from the ref. Finally he blew for time, and a famous Millers victory. Jingle bells was bellowed loud and proud from all the away fans. There's nothing like an away victory at Christmas. Next up Huddersfield in yet another six pointer.

Man of the match

Ian - Green

Jackie - Ledesma

Vicky - Revell

Ian's award - Numerous dodgy bookings, and where the hell did he get that six minutes added time!

Toilet watch - 7/10, the hot water let them down.

Funniest moment - Almost running out of petrol on Saddleworth Moor on the way home

Quote of the day - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to see, the Millers win away

Merry Xmas from New York

Rotherham v Nottingham Forest, Sat 13th Dec 2014, Att 11228

The Monday after the Cardiff game was the draw for the third round of the  FA cup when us BIG clubs enter the Frey. I rushed home from work in order to watch the balls being drawn by Alan Shearer. We were number 33. Manchester City were drawn out at home, 'come on number 33' I yelled. Alan held up his ball, 'number 30.....' Yes, yes, yes, '4, Sheffield Wed!'. It could only happen to us. We ended up with Bournemouth at home, not the glamour tie we wanted, nor a beatable lower league team. Hmmm. 

Thanks for nothing Alan

Forest were the visitors to the New York Stadium, the last home game before Xmas. It also was the day when the girls returned home for the holidays. Ian went down to Nottingham to collect Vicky and her plethora of possessions leaving me at home as the official Radio Rother FM listener. This was important as we were informed that James was to be a guest interviewee. He was, we were told, going to talk about the worst ever Miller and Wooly asked us for our opinion. We wracked our brains, let's face it there are plenty of contenders. Names like John Flynn (late 70s), Paul Haycock, John Otsemebor, Ian Helliwell, Stuart Evans, and anyone signed by George Kerr made the shortlist, but just beating Gisbert White Boots Bos into second place was the peerless Paolo Vernazza. Known affectionately as Paula Vanessa, Paolo came to us from Watford, having played for Arsenal, with great expectations. To be fair Ronnie Moore had taken a bit of a risk as he had been stabbed in the leg in his own home by a burglar. This caused him to play football like a girl and his 27 Millers performances were legendarily bad. 

Paolo with friends Kanu and Suker during his halcyon days at Arsenal

I eagerly turned on the radio to hear James interview at the allotted time and was disappointed that there was no mention of Paula, or indeed any bad player. He did, however, mention us indirectly regarding the game at Cardiff being good and Matt Derbyshire being rubbish. 

Ian arrived with Vicky, with Kathy turning up just after, and we had a lovely family lunch before setting off for the New York Tavern. 

A beer and a brandy later we entered the ground via turnstyle 9 and annoyed old man on the end by having our photo taken.

Merry Christmas from New York

The team was announced as the same team as Cardiff, good news. There was a stir and laughter from Wooly and Ian and a programme was thrust into my hand open at the centre page. A photo of Me, Ian, Wooly and James from the game against Blackpool filled the page. Between Wooly and Ian a beaming Tweeter had his head circled. He had won the face in the crowd competition, prize, a years subscription to Millers player. Some people have all the luck. Vicky hadn't even bought a programme either, I am going to try and get one on Weds at the red and white shop. 

The teams came out to an almost full stadium full of noise. Frank sang, we kicked, the ref blew and off we went. The first half passed much as had the game at Cardiff with us playing sexy football and Ladesma in particular looking Messi like on the wing. We passed and passed and created some excellent chances but could not finish any of them. Forest looked pretty poor to be honest. Half time arrived at 0-0. 

Vicky visited the loo and reported not only a queue, but a disorganised queue, with people entering from both ends and chaos ensuing. We need to send a delegation to the Cardiff ladies toilets for advice. 

The second half followed the same pattern as the first, total football with no end product. The wonderful Ladesma hit the bar with a dipping volley, Pringle missed a bouncing ball in the box. We did everything but score. The Forest fans took to taunting us with the old classic 'Rotherhams a xxxxxxxx, we want to go home.' As if waiting for them the tannoy announcer pressed his button. 'Bing Bong, for all fans travelling by the rail network, please be aware that there are the severest of severe delays and you are stuck here in Rotherham forever' or words to that effect. Much hilarity ensued before 'you're scabby Notts Forest, and you're not going home' rang around the stadium. 

We pressed and pressed some more but to no avail. Finally the ref blew up to end the match 0-0 . Another draw and two more points dropped. Total sexy football is all well and good but we need to start scoring some goals. Now where did we put Matt Derbyshire?

Here I am!

Next a trip to Wigan, a six pointer for sure.

Men of the match

Ian -Pele Ledesma

Jackie -Paul Green

Vicky - Revell!!!!!!!!!! (What game was she at?)

Ian's award - shhhhh, another good reffing display

Funniest moment - The rail delay

If Carling did away games...

YCardiff v Rotherham united, Cardiff City Stadium, Saturday 6th Nov 2014, Att 20419

We were in the Forest of Dean on a weekend visit to Susan and Andrew. 

It was the weekend of Andrews 50th birthday and Rotherham were away at nearby Cardiff. A match made in heaven. Vicky and Alex had accompanied us as Alex had just celebrated his 21st and the weekend was his present from us. What more could a boy ask for. We rose late and chilled all morning. I made microwave porridge and we saw no magpies, good start. The little ones rose very late, so late it was already time to leave. We had sought opinion on the best way to get to Cardiff. Todd advised the train, apparently Cardiff traffic is bad, but the cost of £9 return each put me off. Then we would have to take a taxi or walk 1.5miles. We decided leaving early, driving, and paying to park would be cheaper and easier. Cardiff was indeed busy, built not very, and we arrived in the vicinity of the stadium after only a couple of fights with Tiffany.

 I had read on the internet directions from a Scuntorpe fan to an away fans carpark close to the ground so we all looked out for HSS plant hire and duly turned into the indicated road. That was when the Carling day really started. 'Hello Sir' said a cheery fellow 'away fans?'. We replied in the affirmative and after parting with £8 (steep I know but wait) we were directed to park next to the range rover in an almost empty car park, barring a few beer buses, not twenty metres from the away fans entrance.

 We strolled over and were merrily searched by stewards who chatted amicably about Vickys visit to the London Dungeon. In the concourse itself a TV was showing the Rotherham United promotion video from last season. A sign thanked us Millers fans for making the 392 mile round trip and hoping we had a pleasant day! There was no queue so we all had a nice hot chocolate.

 Stewards mixed and chatted with fans as if they were long lost family. We then went through and found some nice seats, 'sit anywhere', by the corner flag. A good number had travelled the 186 miles, around 300 I would say, and were in good voice when the teams exited. 

Derbyshire had a knock (yay) so Revell returned, and Arneson replaced the injured Clubfoot, but the team was otherwise the same as the one that failed to convince against Blackpool. Mr LeFondre was introduced and got a good round of applause from us, as expected, he is a Millers legend after all.

 As the teams lined up the scoreboard and tannoy screamed out a very fierce and scary rendition of Men of Harlech, imploring all the Welshmen to gut the English, or something like that. The crowd joined in with relish, and that was virtually the last we heard of them. 

The match kicked off and we started to play beautiful, sexy, football. We didn't lump the ball up to Revell, we pressed them, won the ball, then passed it through their midfield. It was stunning stuff. We had a few poor attempts on goal but up till that point it was faultless, and that will come. Cardiff, and Alfie, barely had a kick. We came very close when Paul Green had a shot cleared off the line. Not as close as my Sky app thought however. 'PENALTY MISS PAUL GREEN!!' Screamed my pocket, I must have blinked at that point. Suddenly, on 20mins, the librarian like Cardiff fans all stood and started screaming and waving blue flags. 

Apparently they didn't like changing their colour from blue to red, who can blame them. We sympathised by singing 'we wear what we want, you wear what you're told.' After that our skilful Barcelona like passing game, with Tom Lawrence in the Messi role, stupefied the Cardiff fans back into silence. 0-0 at half-time.

In our roles as investigative reporters Vicky and I headed to the loos. First impressions were good. The whole wall of the ladies were painted pink, the gents blue. No embarrassing New York stadium style errors could occur here. No standing water on the floor. Lots of clean toilets with a strong flush. Copious hot water. Brilliant. Ian reported a similar standard in the usually horrendous away stadium gents. 

Back for the second half and more of that football that had us purring. A stunning move saw a Revs header that the keeper miraculously touched onto the bar. The ref (D'Urso) even more miraculously gave a goal kick. Cardiff huffed and puffed for about five minutes then we regained the upper hand. They replaced the scary looking Kenwynn Jones with the ex Man Utd star Macheda, they replace Alfie with ex Man utd star Fabio, and replaced some other player with ex Man Utd star Ravel Morrison. No worries for the brilliant Millers, we attacked to the end and the only disappointment was that the final score was 0-0. 

Same result as last week but this time it felt like a win. Cardiff had won their last five home games easily and were playing in the Premier League last season. I can find no weak link, from the back four who snuffed out any threat from Jones and Alfie, midfield with the lively Ladesma outstanding, to the forward line of Revell and the wonderful Lawrence. If we can only start scoring someone is in for a hiding. Let's hope it's Nottingham Forest next Saturday.

We wandered down towards the exit. 'Have a great trip home' said the steward. 'Bye, see you again' said another. We filed out and looked for the car, oh there it was 20m away. The stewards directed us down a narrow lane while waving goodbye. It wound away from the stadium and brought us out on a road free from traffic and we sped off towards Lydney.

If Carling did away days........

Men of the match

Ian - Tom Lawrence, with a big praise for the ref for a near flawless performance!!!!!!

Jackie - Tom 'Pele' Lawrence

Vicky - Ladesma

Alex - Ladesma

Toilet watch - 10/10

Funniest moment - sky app thinking Green had missed a penalty

Quote of the day - 

Re: MOTM v Rotherham United (h)

by pembroke allan » Sat Dec 06, 2014 4:58 pm

can we have lawrence of rotherham? by far best player on pitch!! 
no city player worth a vote!! 

Ian's award - Cornergate

Ooooh Adam Collin!

Rotherham v Blackpool, New York Stadium, sat nov 29th 2014, Att 9381

Only a week had passed since the Birmingham debacle but Steve had rung the changes big time. Out went Ryan Hall (Notts County), Nicky Walker (Grimsby), Richard Brindley (Scunny), and Rob Millsom ( on the never ending road to Bury). In came Leeds defender Scott Wootton, Tom Lawrence from Leicester, a striker, and Rees James, a defender from none other than Manchester United. It could have been so much better though. I got up to put some washing on and on re-entering the bedroom caught Ian saying  '..........signed Darren Bent'. 'What!!', I exclaimed. Darren Bent,The Darren Bent, former England stiker and firm favourite of mine. Today was the second best day of my life, better than my wedding day, beaten only by the Wembly Win, and beating having children into the distance. 'Brighton have signed Darren Bent', he repeated. Ah. 

If only........

I made porridge, in the jug, and waved out the window at the ever present single magpie. I am starting to get fed up with this superstition malarkey. 'Blackpool is not a must win game' stated the advertiser. Ian and I begged to differ. This was a must win game of the highest degree. 'The cereal situation is at DefCom Bravo' said Chris. Our situation was at DefCom Alpha. 

Vicky had, wisely, decided that her boyfriend Alex's 21st birthdate took precedence over football and had bailed for today so Ian and I took the walk to the New York Tavern alone. As soon as we reached Woolys table they all shouted 'Have you seen the team!!'. It appeared that Steve had decided to try something new, like dropping everyone and starting afresh. No Revell, Frecklington, Arneson, Scarz, Clarke-Harris, Taylor or Bowery. All the new loanees were playing. The want away Broadfoot had guilted his way back into the heart of defence. And somehow Derbyshire was back in the team up front. The natives in the Tavern were very restless, whispers of he dosent know what he's doing, he's clueless, he has no tactical idea were mooted. Even he wasn't happy and he appears to be a relative.

His brother?

I texted Vicky with the news and her reply was far from complimentery.

'4-5-1 with only Derbyshire up front?!?!?????? What is that?!??????? Good luck watching that crap!! Where's Arni and revell and frecks?!?!??????? '

Everyone also agreed with us, this was the must win game of all must win games.

We strolled down to the ground and entered via turnstyle 10, no more 11 or 12 for us. I took my seat and there was a big gap beside me.

In truth there were big gaps all around, although old guy on the end appeared and gave me a beaming smile. 'She didn't last long did she' he said of the absent Heather. 'No' I replied, 'she can't stand the tension'. Miller Bear was playing the crowd nearby, kissing children and old ladies. Vicky will be sorry she missed it.

The new team appeared to polite applause and much bemusement. Pringle had The Bandage on, unfortunately it was only the wrist which does not guarantee victory like The Head Bandage, but is a good sign. Frank sang, we kicked and the ref blew his whistle. We actually started quite well, passed the ball a bit and created a few half chances. Blackpool were poor and created nothing. A trainer flew from the back and landed at the side of the pitch, followed by a small, hopping, boy. A very sweet Blackpool player, Nathan Delfouneso, warming up, retrieved it and brought it to the stand for him. Awwww.

Such a sweetheart...

The villainous Nile ranger was a thorn in Broadfoots side, using his elbow and weight a couple of times, and leading to his substitution just before halftime. Arneson came on to replace him to huge applause. 

At least he didn't pull out a gun and shoot him.

Such a scary man...

The ref blew for half-time at 0-0. Not bad but not brilliant, and once again we had failed to score.

The tweeters were discussing the absent sideshow Bob at halftime and wondering if they had scared him off. One of them ripped a piece of paper up into small pieces and vowed to launch it if we scored, to much hilarity. The teams reappeared, Frank sang, off we went again. This half we ran out of steam a bit and were pretty poor, as were Blackpool. Nothing really happened and we all got bored. Steve decided to bring Bowery on, replacing A Loanee. We blustered a bit more, and then it happened. Derbyshire headed on to Bowery who deftly shifted the ball and shot into the bottom corner. We had scored. Paper floated down and the Fratellis played Chelsea Dagger. The sun came out, people were smiling and hugging each other, Steve was yelling to keep it tight. Only ten minutes to survive against a team bottom of the league with virtually no points. Surely we couldn't slip up, Blackpool were rubbish. Bad news for us was that Adam Collin is clearly a huge Blackpool fan. He took a swing at an admittedly tricky ball and kicked only air. A lurking Blackpool player couldn't believe his luck as he stroked the ball home. Disaster. We huffed and puffed a bit more but two goals in a game is beyond us and it finished all square. We had thrown away two points and it felt like a defeat. We hadn't won the must win game. If only we had signed Darren Bent. Next up Cardiff away and a certain Mr LeFondre.

Men of the match

Ian-Wooton

Jackie - Lawrence

Funniest moment - The Shoe

Quote of the day - 'MillerBear ******off that's my seat' Guy at the front before the match. 

Red faces and Blue noses

Rotherham United vs Birmingham City, Sat Nov 22nd 2014, New York Stadium

At last, the international break is over and higher league football is back. It seems an age since the game at Hillsborough, and the last home game against Middlesborough seems even further away. Lots of things occurred over the last few weeks, amonst them;

-Wigan sacked their manager and appointed Malkay McKay, who had been sacked from his last club for being racist and sexist.

-Isis died on Downton Abbey

-Ched Evans resumed training with Sheffield United causing a slew of patrons to quit and a media storm

-Kari Arneson of Iceland became the highest capped international in Rotherhams history, matching Sean Goaters 18 for Bermuda.

-Ian and I had a weekend away in Robin Hoods Bay where we walked our legs off and drank hot chocolate

-Kathy had a weekend away in Brighton with work where she got drunk and played pointless.

-Tony Stewart announce that from the first on January the stadium would become The Aesseal New York Stadium, a move that I am not in favour with. 

No new players had been welcomed to the Aesseal. Kirk Broadfoot had asked to move out as he isn't playing the first team football he was promised, several fans expressed delight at this. Scott Loach, the number two keeper, went out on loan to Bury. 

The day arrived at last, quite mild considering the previous few days had been cold and very wet. A shame as these foreign players don't like the British winters. Our foreign player, from Iceland, thinks they are warm and mild. Much discussion over the porridge ensued, having drawn the last game with pan porridge Ian declared that was needed once more. We were having visitors over the weekend, with two of them attending the game. Heather and Alex are becoming such big fans they jumped at the chance of tickets. I was hoping they didn't cause trouble as I had bought them with my season ticket and didn't want to be banned for life. Heather asked about the Birmingham fans and was a little worried when I told her that the last time they came there was a near riot involving bricks and planks of wood. It was back in the 70s though and times have changed. 

Ian and I set off to walk leaving Heather and the little ones to get a lift from David. Two single Magpies were spotted and saluted. Does anyone else think they are hunting singly more and more? We all met up outside the sorting office and strolled down to the ground without seeing a single Birmingham fan (they are known as bluenoses).

After much discussion we decided on turnstyle 12, deeming that 9 and 10 had been too unlucky. We showed Heather and Alex our brick in the wall and found our seats. 

Old man on the end appeared and Heather tried to engage him in conversation. I could have told her it was a waste of time. It was good news as Derbyshire was on the bench, along with an Argentinian with an unpronounceable name who we had loaned from Borough, not Bury as we misheard when James told us! It was nice to point out sideshow Bob, although he did have a headscarf on to tame his wild curls. The teams appeared, Frank played, legs were kicked and we were off. Well, Birmingham were off, our players hadn't bothered to turn up. They attacked, and attacked, hit the bar, attacked some more, hit the post, swarmed forward. Their fans sang as if they were going for the record volume at a football match. Ours, much to Heathers disappointment, were quiet as church mice. We barely made it into their half. 'Its too stressful' said Heather 'I don't know how you cope watching them every week'. 'We are used to it' I replied. Excitement ensued near halftime when everyone stood up and stared. ' Someone has collapsed' came the murmur. We knew, the stewards knew, the players probably knew, but the St Johns Ambulance hadn't spotted it. People pointed, stewards yelled, but they still didn't spot it. Eventually they realised someone was in trouble, but instead of rushing over they took a slow walk taking in the scenery. I hope I never collapse at the New York (sponsored by Aesseal). Back to the pitch where the Millers still hadn't bothered to turn up and Birmingham were toying with them like a cat with a mouse. The lady who had collapsed was carried away and amazingly the ref blew for halftime at 0-0. Changes were needed said the tweeters. The consensus being Taylor off and anybody else on. John heard in the toilet that the lady had had an epileptic fit so it must be true. 

Ian had spotted that the goalkeeping coach had been talking tactics with the new Argentinian, he must be the only person on the staff with a smidgin of Spanish, so a change was afoot. Indeed the teams came out for the second half with Taylor absent, and a warm welcome to the New Aesseal York stadium for A.N. Argentinian. Shame that was the last we saw of him. The change didn't make a blind bit of difference, we were still poor. Birmingham attacked, attacked some more, Collin made a wonder save, Morgan fell over and Clayton ***** Donaldson scored (he usually does against us) . We tried more changes. Green for Frecklington. Green did manage to get into a few good shooting positions but forgot that the ball needs to hit the net not the corner flag. Bowey came on and disappeared down the rabbit hole in the centre of the pitch. 'Don't worry' said Heather, 'we can still score'. We couldn't. The final whistle blew and Birmingham had won 1-0 in the most comfortable of manners. Disappointment swirled around the Aes New York Seal Stadium. 'Don't look at the table' said Vicky, 'We are in the bottom three'. Never mind, the only way is up now. And it's bottom of the table Blackpool next. 

Men of the match

Ian - Collin

Jackie - Pringle

Vicky - Collin

Heather - Pringle

Alex - Collin

Ian's award

No worth awarding

Quote's of the day

Ian leaving the ground 'That match was crying out for Matt Derbyshire'

Vicky walking up Don Street through the despairing crowds 'League one is a great league'

Funniest moment

The confusion on the faces of the St Johns Ambulance people when they realised they had an incident to attend.

He loves killing pigs

Sheffield Wednesday v Rotherham Utd, Sat November 8th 2014, Att 26,986

I awoke on the morning of the long anticipated trip to Hillsborough and thought, 'I don't want to go. What if we lose, it will be unbearable.' Our last two results had put me in a negative frame of mind, instead of a top half finish I was suddenly looking below to the relegation zone. The last team I wanted to play at the moment were the old enemy, the dee dahs, the pigs, Sheffield Wednesday. Our recent record had been so good today could only be a let down. I have a vivid memory of standing on Leppins Lane on Tues 28th Dec 1982 and watching a shot by Joe McBride hit a divot and loop over Bob Bolders foot and into the net resulting in a 1-0 win and a famous song.  An even vivider one is sitting in the seats above the Leppins Lane end on Friday 23rd August 2002, right behind a 93rd minute shot by Darren Garner. In my memory he's on the halfway line but records say he was 30 yards out when the ball left his foot and flew into the net. Rotherham won 2-1.

Then there was February 23rd 2002. A 90th minute Richie Barker header gave the Millers yet another 2-1 victory.

And finally there was the Carling Cup game of 12th August 2009, when a late Reuben Reid equaliser saw the game go to penalties, in which the Millers triumphed yet again. So all in all we have a brilliant recent record at Hillsborough. 

Early morning saw Ian watching Bad Dogs, a reality TV show where the 'Bad Dogs' in question were actually a cat, a monkey, and a tortoise that cornered a cat and took a lump out of its fur. Some of these programmes are real eye openers. He then got a disturbing text from Wooly who had had a dream where Ian's car got smashed up by weds fans while parked outside their ground. Ian declared we would go in little red. Wooly also informed us he would be wearing his lucky underpants. I started feeling a little better. I went down to the station to collect Vicky, the town was swarming with police, there appeared to be another march going on in the town centre. Ian, meanwhile, had walked the dog down to Tesco and saw the team bus outside the Carlton Park. Let's hope they were eating not drinking. 

The drive to the ground was worrisome due to traffic, especially around Meadowhall where the whole nation had decided to Xmas shop. 'I told you we should drive through the town centre', Ian proclaimed when we were stuck yet again on the ring road. Close to the ground it was even worse, but we managed to find a gym that was charging £3 to park in its car park. Much better than Derby but not as good as Bournemouth. From there it was only a ten minute walk and we arrived at the away end in plenty of time.

We were in the upper stand, and by a quirk of fate, in almost the exact same spot where I was sat when Darren Garner unleashed his 30 yarder. We were also at the very back among the yobs. One of the hazards of buying tickets first. 

Because of Remembrance Sunday a minutes silence was held during which a bugler played the last post causing a few hairs to be raised on arms. Then we were off.

You may recall Mr Miller, a genial friendly referee from earlier in the season. Today's ref was Mr Miller, his not at all genial or friendly twin brother. A Weds player fell over, free kick, Alex Revell was assaulted, play on. Weds started the better, but we gradually came into the game and finished the half strongly. At half time a kind of 'it's a knockout' situation evolved, with 4000 people trying to squeeze through three narrow gangways into the concourse. Vicky and I managed to prevail and joined the back of the queue to the ladies. (See below). We then reversed the procedure and arrived back at our seats just as the second half kicked off. 

Once again we were the better side, and once again Mr Miller thwarted all our efforts. Frecklington had the ball in the net only to have it, rightly, ruled out for offside. Steve was giving the fourth official hell on the touch line. Just before the final whistle a Weds player burst into the area, slipped over, and screamed for a penalty. Mr Miller finally got something right and waved away the protests, then brought the game to an end. 0-0 and a moral victory to the Millers. I was able to release the breath I had been holding all day. Thank god for yet another blooming international break, time to get my breath back. Next up Birmingham at home in two weeks time. 

Men of the match

Ian - Alex Revell

Jackie - Richie Smallwood

Vicky - Ben 'He loves killing pigs' Pringle

Ian's award

Pringle getting manhandled just outside the area, no foul according to Mr Miller.

Funniest moment 

The giant blow up pig floating around the away end.

Millers fans poke at Stevie May, a player who almost signed for us but decided at the last minute to go to Hillsborough

'We got Clarke-Harris, you got a Scottish Gypo'

Toilet watch

Only four toilets, floor swimming with who knows what, no paper or paper towels. Very poor. 3/10