The Addicks

Charlton v Rotherham, The Valley, Sat 31st Jan 2014

Ian had spent a few hours in A and E the previous Weds night after believing he was still young enough to play football with his son. A tackle had left him with knee ligament damage, and me with a second job as a personal assistant. So any kind of activity on this chilly Saturday afternoon was ruled out and we found ourselves, once again, in the company of Jeff Stelling and the boys on the dreaded rolling results service. We were feeling very optimistic after the midweek mauling of Bolton, and as expected Steve named an unchanged side, super Connor Sammon and marvellous Matt Derbyshire keeping their places up front. We had brought in Crystal Palace defender Jack Hunt on Friday, but he had to settle for a seat on the bench. 

At least he's seen a football before

Unfortunately Leeds had beaten Huddersfield in an early match leaving only Brighton in our sights. 

Halftime came with no goals in the significant matches in our division, I.e. Those at the bottom, and I was just drifting off to sleep when the 83rd minute came. 'A goal at the city ground' screamed Jeff. Amazingly Millwall had scored. But there was worse to come, as at exactly the same moment so had Charlton. That would push us back towards the trapdoor to league one. My heart sank. I was feeling even more depressed as the full times started to come in. But cometh the hour cometh the man. That man was Danny Ward, our new striker who had come on in place of Sammon. A poke into goal from a Hammill cross on 90+1 rescued a point and, despite Millwalls unexpected victory, moved us up a place, Brighton having lost.

Next up High flying Ipswich at The New York.

If Carling did home games......

Rotherham v Bolton, New York Stadium, Tues Jan 27th 2014, Att 8760

Because of our ignominious cup there was a ten day break between the second Bournemouth defeat and this game. Plenty of time for transfer rumours to abound. The big one for the millers was the transfer of Ben Pringle. Social media was reporting that his departure to Preston was a fait accompli, then that he had actually signed and was driving over the Pennines in his Porsche on the Monday night. The other rumour was that the wonderful Adam Le Fondre was being offered out for loan. If only he fancied a trip back to S60, Bens departure wouldn't hurt so much.

Have hairband will travel

Have hoodie will travel

Alas it was not to be and Alfie joined tonight's opponents Bolton, we couldn't even afford to pay for his haircuts. The only good point was that he wasn't eligible to play against us, much to his disappointment. 

Vicky was in the middle of an exam recovery week, much to the amusement of Wooly and James, and the disgust of Ian, so was able to make it, having had no better offers. The usual Tuesday match night rush to get in and eat tea was followed by a lift down from Chris. We decided to cross the road at a different place to spice things up a bit and entered via turnstyle 10. Old man on the end was seated already, so I gave him a nod. Joining Wooly and James were the real fan Kathy, her Watford supporting boyfriend, and Caroline, at the match to vet said boyfriend. Vicky got the team news up on her phone, and there were a few surprises. Up front we had Connor Sammon and Matt Derbyshire. 'Derbyshire and Sammon up front' I said to OMOTE, his grimace said it all. On the wing we had Connor Newton and Prestons own Ben Pringle. Fancy that. Not a team to strike fear into opponents, but Bolton had had a hard Cup tie against Liverpool so maybe they were tired. They did have a certain Eidur Gudjonnson in their ranks. 'Didnt he play for Chelsea dad' said Kathy. 'And Barcelona' Wooly replied. Luckily he was now 67 years old, so would be no threat.

Frank played, we kicked, the lovely Mr Drysdale referee blew, and we were off. Turns out not only were Bolton totally drained, they had also forgot everything they had ever known about how to play football. On one minute fourth six seconds Connor Newton put in a wonderful cross and Ben Pringle beat the invisible man to the ball and volleyed a thunderbolt into the roof of the net with his sweet left foot. 1-0 the Millers. The tweeters hadn't even taken their place, much to their disgust.

That was the start of a wonderful half. We passed the ball wonderfully and has several good attempts on goal. Not only were we playing well, but the ref was as well. When Bolton tried to fall over, no free kick. The ball went out for a corner according to the Lino, but no. Goal kick said the ref. A Bolton player was tripped in the area, could have easily been a pen. No way said Mr Drysdale. Neil Lennon, the Ginger Whinger himself, was apoplectic, especially as the ball was launched towards Derbyshire. He streaked upfield like a bolt of lightning, easily beating the Bolton defenders (the treacle they were running through slowed them down). His tame shot was parried by their keeper into the path of the onrushing (and all alone) Sammon. 2-0. 

Not happy

Derbyshire was on fire and continued to plague the Bolton defence, having several good efforts on goal before putting in another good cross. Paul Green manage to escape the attention of the traffic cones and placed a header onto the post and in. 3-0 and we were in heaven, as was he.

Kathys boyfriend was on his feet singing his heart out. Alex take note. 

Connor Newton and Ben Pringle were causing all kinds of trouble down the wings, Green and Smallwood were imperious in the centre, and that striking partnership that OMOTE was so scornful of looked like world beaters. 'I said Derbyshire was brilliant' I told him. He smiled an enigmatic smile. Mr Drysdale, Darren as we like to call him, was meanwhile still wowing the crowd with his stellar refereeing display. A tweeter commented that he had a bet on for 4-2, so was expecting a Bolton comeback. Eidur tried to get in the game, and did look skilful on the ball, but was soon kicked up in the air by a Miller. No foul said Daz. 'Get up you Icelandic T********,' screamed Ian. 'Yay' laughed Kathy, 'variety'.

Unfortunately half time arrived. 3-0 and a stellar performance from the Millers. 

No changes were made in the break, and we carried on as before. Lots of great football that culminated in the fans oleying as we passed it about. A great pass by Smallwood found Our Matty on the halfway line, he stomed forward feinting to pass to Ben, before unleashing a rocket into the top corner. 4-0. The crowd, and Matt, went mad. His lack of goals so far and wonderful performance on the night had endeared him to most fans, I always said he was good! 

It was all going so well that on 75 mins I turned to Vicky and told her that if we got to 80 at 4-0 I would start to believe we could win. Big mistake as Bolton promptly scored, another shaky defensive moment . Then they scored again. Now they had hope and unbelievably we were hanging on. A bit of drama spiced things up I suppose. Stevie subbed Matt to a standing ovation, then Ben. We wound the clock down, before Bolton got a free kick in the 96th minute. They blazed it wide and our Daz blew for full time. 4-2 to the Millers, and a famous victory.

Next up Charlton away.

Men of the match

Ian - two assists and one goal, Matt Derbyshire.

Jackie - Difficult but Connor Newton

Vicky - Derbyshire

Ian's award - can he ref us every week please

Funniest moment - The ref overruling the linesman for the corner and the Bolton players' fury.

Quote of the week - Steve Evans re Ben Pringles transfer, "The guy who put that on whatever forum is steaming drunk. I have never spoken to Preston in my life about Ben Pringle"

Groundhog Day

Rotherham v Bournemouth, New York Stadium, sat 17th Jan 2015, Att 

A feeling of Déjà Vu was in the air as we awoke in anticipation of playing Bournemouth at the New York. The only difference was likely to be the personnel on the park. Bournemouth having played their Z team in thrashing us 5-1 in the cup two weeks ago were likely to field a much stronger outfit this time, while Steve had brought in yet more loan signings. Connor Sammon joined from Derby County to the end of the season. A striker already being nicknamed 'Voldemort' on the message boards, Connor looks like a thug, so should be able to rough defenders up a bit. 

Voldemort

We had also signed a defender, praise The Lord. Zeki Fryers, ex of Man Utd, Spurs and Crystal Palace came in on a one month 'emergency' loan deal, cos our defenders are so rubbish. 'I've heard of him' said Chris, much to my delight. 

Zeki, sporting his viral tattoos.

On the way out was JCH, a months loan to MK Dons. The good news was that Ben Pringle was going nowhere, having turned down a move to Millwall as not right for him at this time. (Yaaaay). The bad news was that Matt Derbyshire was going nowhere, having turned down a move to Chesterfield as not right for him at this time. (Boooooooooooooooo).

Please get me out of here! But only for loads of money.

As any team starts to dip in form and drop down the league table, the glory hunters start to find other things to do on a Saturday. So it was with Vicky, who conjured a 'prior appointment' in London over the weekend that she simply could not miss.

Too busy...

 Unable to persuade anyone else to use the plastic supporters ticket, Mark having a chimney to sweep, Ian tried Wooly to see if he could find someone, to no avail. It seems John was having his eyebrows shaped, and Caroline had a huge pile of washing up to do. Kathy was already using another Plastic's ticket, and James girlfriend had to watch the sound of music. As a last resort we asked Chris. 'Sorry, I have to chop vegetables.' A worthy cause and as good an excuse as any. 

As the morning dawned ice and snowless, Ian and I decided to use every trick in the book to influence the result. Pan porridge of course, no looking out of the window for fear of spotting a magpie, and all radios firmly off in case we got a quick earful of Radio Sheffield. We called at the New York tavern, where Wooly had still failed to find anyone to take the ticket off our hands, then entered the stadium via turnstyle 10. Old man on the end was there already, but no tweeters.

Pre match the scoreboard showed a list of all the Millers who had died in 2014, then the teams came out. Because of all the loan signings there were 6 (SIX!) players starting that were welcomed to the New York, including the two above. Frank played, we sang, and we were off. We started Ok, but then Bournemouth came into it more. The surprising thing was that they felt they had to cheat to beat us, diving whenever one of our players were in the vicinity. The very weak ref decided he was going to give a free kick every time. They are better than that. One of the dives led to a free kick in the second minute of the one added. A speculative ball into the box hit Arneson on the head and went in. 1-0 at halftime. Steve was not happy with the added added time and had to be hauled away from the ref. Vicky texted to say she was playing her friends grand piano.

The second half was a bit of a non event with us not really creating anything. The tweeters took to discussing a website where you can illegally download current films. Kathy urged Ian to yell Txxxxxx at the top of his voice at a player or the ref. It snowed a bit. Ben Pringle emerged from the bench to polite applause but never looked like coming on (his last appearance in a Millers shirt?) Bournemouth broke away and caused all our defenders to fall over leaving the ball free in the area, and managed to slot home before falling over themselves just in case. 2-0. Vicky texted to say she was in her friends swimming pool. 

There was no way back, we are not good enough. Old man on the end left, so did the tweeters, and the ref blew for full time. It was cold, it was wet, and we lost 2-0. Vicky texted to say she was in her friends jacuzzi. 

I am very despondent at the moment. I see relegation beckoning and feel we should sack the manager. Ian is much more upbeat and disagrees with me on Stevie. The only way is up. Next for us Bolton a week on Tuesday.

Men of the match

Ian - Erm, mmm, Colin made a couple of saves didn't he? Adam Colin.

Jackie - Erm, mmm, not the defence, the attackers were rubbish, I don't recall Green much so Green.

Funniest moment

Nothing to laugh about

The end of an era

Brentford v Rotherham, Griffin Park, Sat 10th Jan 2014

The Bournemouth debacle was only the prelude to a septimanus horrabilis for all Millers fans. With that glorious afternoon in May a distant memory, we were beginning to believe relegation a distinct possibility, and now it looked like the beginning of the end for the main heroes of that day. Rumours had been rife all season that Pringle would be departing for good money, and his recent bench warming spell and rumoured offers from several clubs made that possibility more likely. Then, midweek, THE news started to filter through. Quiet whispers rose to a clashing crescendo on Wednsday. Alex Revell was on his way to Cardiff! The scorer of Wembleys best ever goal, never give up, miller to the core, fans favourite was leaving to rejoin his old, beloved, manager Russell Slade, for more money. I couldn't believe it and immediately sent a message to Vicky on holiday in Lisbon. Apparently she and Alex were having a romantic lunch when Alex went for coffee. She decided to check her messages and fell into deep despair when she saw the news. It spoiled her holiday. 'Are you sitting down?' I asked Heather before imparting the news later in the week. 'Oh no, not Revell, I hope they don't sell Pringle.' She moaned despondently. On Weds the fee was thought to be around 200k. Not bad for a 31 year old donkey, we thought. The advertiser on Friday suggested the fee was around 400k. That put the smile back on our faces. 400k for a has-been donkey who couldn't hit a barn door with a banjo. Great business. The clear out continued as we released the unused Michael Tidser and Febian Brandy.

To make it up to us for selling our favourite, Steve went out and borrowed some more players. Adam Hammill, a winger, joined from Huddersfield, as did the striker Danny Ward. Jack Barmby, a young striker passed Tom Lawrence on his way from Leicester. 

Saturday dawned with me indifferent about the coming game. I simply couldn't drum up any enthusiasm. I dropped Ian off at the New York stadium for the beer festival, no magpies in sight, and drove home to join Jeff and the boys for the rolling results. The team news showed all three new signings in the team, and Lee Frecklington notably absent from team or bench. Not Frecks surely?

Nothing exciting happened in the first half, we were only mentioned at half time as Jeff told us the score was 0-0. 

A few minutes into the second half Jeff told us that the deadlock had been broken at Griffin Park. For a couple of seconds we held onto hope, but alas, there was none. Rotherham had been by far the better team in the first half the reporter said, but Brentford were the ones in front. And they hadn't lost from a winning position for ever, so that would be that. Indeed it was, Jeff didn't mention us again until full time. Brentford 1 Rotherham 0. The million pound drop looms ever closer. 

Next up Bournemouth at home, again!  

Finally, joking apart, I think we'd all like to thank Alex Revell for the past three seasons, and wish him luck in the future. Except when he plays us.

Thanks for the memories Revs.....

Stuffed like a turkey

Rotherham v Bournemouth, ASSEAL New York Stadium, Sat 3rd Jan 2015, FA cup, Att 5826

For the first time in many years we were in the third round of the FA cup, due to us being a 'Big Club' now. We missed Man City by one number and got Bournemouth instead, the worst draw possible. They are sooooo unglamerous, but sooo good, top of the championship and flying. We didn't hold out much hope anyway, but the news that both Ledesma and Lawrence had returned to their parent clubs, coupled with Wootton not being allowed to play by Leeds, reduced it to virtually zero. The return of Richard Brindley from his loan at Scunny didn't cheer us up any either. We missed out in visiting the New York Tavern due to having guests at home and went straight to the ground where a surprisingly large crowd of almost 6000 awaited, Bournemouth having fetched a healthy 500. 'They have come to see their team win 6-0' said Vicky in a very prophetic statement. 

Old man on the end was already there so I attempted to initiate a conversation. 'Did you go to Blackpool?'. 'No'. In other exciting news Christine, on hearing that one of the tweeters had tweeted Richard Osman managed to find him on twitter. His page had a picture of his view from the stand at the New York Staium which offered a positive ID. His name is Andrew.

The ref was a Mr Swarbrick, a premier league ref dropping down for the cup, much to our dismay. They are usually useless. Brindley was thrown back in, with a recall for Pringle but not Revell. Frank sang, we kicked, and we were off. In a pretty good start we pressed quite a bit, with Frecks and Brindley playing particularly well, so much so that he ventured up field, beat a few men, shot and scored. Only 11 mins gone and we were in the lead. Then it started to go downhill. Toward the end of the half they came more and more into the game until a goal was inevitable. On 44 mins a great passing move saw them equalise. Half time 1-1. 

The less said about the second half the better, so I won't even mention it. Final score 5-1 to Bournemouth. 

Our FA cup journey was over for another year. Next up Brentford away.

Men of the first half

Jackie - Frecks

Ian - Frecks

Vicky - Frecks

Quote of the day - Andrew the tweeter. 'Mumble mumble is there, he has the worst hair in the football league.' Cue me and Vicky spending 45 minutes trying to see who he was talking about. 

Ian's award - Couldn't drum up enough enthusiasm to complain about him.